You deserve to share your Life's gift...

Really, truly, you do.  You have something to share, what that may be I am sincerely unaware, unless of course you've shown me already.  There's something deep inside you, I know, I know, it's dark in there and when you go there it can be very scary to try and find something you can't necessarily see.  Trust me though, it will be worth it.  What is it you are waiting for?  Someone to tell you where to look?  Are you perhaps wondering if there will be a guide book or map that you can use to find your gift to share? And by the way what is this "gift" anyways I'm talking about?  Ah yes, that, well.  You see we are all made of the same divine essence that all of creation is made of and this really magical mystery was presented to each of us, this opportunity to look within ourselves to see the most holy realm of existence, which some call their "truth" and some call their "purpose", while these and other similar words or expressions are pointing us in the right direction the real realness of this gift I speak of is that we all are naturally, inherently gifted beings with a unique presence to share with the collective whole so that as we all contribute our individual gifts a quite marvelous unified story can be seen and appreciated and looked at so that we may all be in awe of this and be grateful.

This is the end of an era in humanities journey in which we shed that which no longer serves us, on an individual level and societal level as well.  We are here with an incredible opportunity to face the coming (and indeed already here) shit storm of  environmental, political, and individual agendas and go into the darkness so that it can be addressed, assessed, and ideally changed for good right?

And then...

Awake.

The idea of coming into a state of being present to dreaming a dream seems to be the theme of Being awake in this life.  At least that is what I thought was what was going on here, maybe I'm still asleep...

If there was or is more to life than remembering how to be a beacon of light and love then what in heaven could it be?

Graciously we are collectively creating this magnificent dream, a dream so pure in its awesomeness and mystery that to really know anything about anything is the greatest challenge and gift of all.  This is a cosmic dance, a celebration with nothing more than an ever present opportunity to see how blessed it is.  There's a spin within and without a doubt this tricky thing we call duality is happening but really only on either side of the divine infinite möbius strip of unity.  You're only up or down depending on which way and how you decide to look at it.  The light is there sure, but it only has that potential to be realized when you're looking at it in the dark.  A protagonist is an antagonist depending on who's telling the story, the bad is only so if you have good to compare it to, and so on and so...

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Okay, alright, the above was fun and now I acknowledge that this has indeed begun.  This is an intro into the wonders of this existence.  I may at times go ranting off into the cosmos or get swept away in the winds of words that come and go in a wild flow both in and out of control.  Why not?  The REAL why I believe is why not indeed?  I've decided to embark on a written digital journey that involves 50,000 words making there way out of my brain and into one of many mediums digitally over the month of November in the Gregorian year of 2012.  If there is any substance and truth in what I'm feeling and many, many people are saying then we are right on the doorstep of a fresh new vibration, transformation, and awakening on a whole other divine level.

Whatever comes next I am prepared to be creative, tell some stories, share some dreams, and be as awesome and authentic as I possibly can because quite frankly, you deserve it (and so do I).  It's presently 1:23 in the wee morning hours of the 1st of November, Fiona Apple is gifting me with some creative and mighty crazy music.  And now sleep is doing its very best to pull my eyelids together and so I surrender to that glorious place in space we call sleep.  And sincerely if that is not where dreams live and this here and now is the dream I sure have an amazing dream world I've created...

A Joyous Life...

~Joy on the playground today~

What a Joyous life. There are certainly great highs and lows, an undulating journey on the ebbs and tides of ever moving waves. It is in my best interest (and perhaps yours too) to be as a surfer and gracefully ride them and be present to where you're at on these continuously changing waves, also important, if you're shredding and you suddenly eat it and fall off the wave, find a way to compose yourself, get back on that board and ideally find a way to not fall off in the same way you've done before...

Well, here I am writing words. This is an exercise of sorts as I prepare to embark on a mighty journey in just over 2 days from now in which I will be writing 50,000 words over the course of November. DigiWriMo is a digital challenge in which those who participate attempt to write 50,000 words in 30 days. That is 1,666.66667 of these guys each day. The mediums in which they are written is basically anything digital, I can use this blog, facebook, twitter, instagram, text messages, and even emails if I so choose too, the key is to have them shared and available to be viewed digitally. It is going to be quite a ride. I look forward to it though, it is up to each person involved to decide what they'd like to do with the outcome of their work, whether it is anything at all other than just completing their goal is really something each participant can decide.

I am thinking of a couple options personally. Part of me would like to create a living novel with it all. Something that can be tangibly accessed more or less linearly in one platform on the web, an e-book I guess it would be. Another part of me envisions it actually making it to hard or softcover form in an actual book you can hold. This of course would be quite a process in organization and figuring out something in it that could be considered continuity and graceful form. But there in lies a fun and exciting opportunity to create something rather unique. I could see it coming together as a book format in a really neat kind of way. Imagine, a book that contains many interesting stories, thoughts, communications, and pictures and having all of them be compiled onto actual pages in a way where you are still reading one overall bigger story while following along on a journey through a life and perspective shared by me.

As I bounce on this bouncy chair and type these words it is really amazing to just be present, was just bouncing to Feel Good Inc. by the Gorillaz and now Seven Nation Army by the Whit Stripes is playing. Joy is practicing her letters behind me on a new notebook we scored in a free pile on our walk back from the park, and she is getting good may I add, she is even writing in bubble letters. She actually just asked me what she had written. That is a fun game, for she will basically accept any answer you give her even if it is way more than she has written down or if there are more letters involved than the ones she's written so it's always a fun practice in being imaginative and often really silly. She's got such an incredible imagination. I love this little girl so much, what an absolute blessing to have this remarkable Being in our world.

Just took a moment to see where I was at as far as a word count just out of curiosity, well, I (we) are looking at roughly 600 words above so yeah, uh, if this were a part of the future (that being the month of November) and I were really keeping track I'd still have to create nearly two times the amount of words. That is good though, I feel confident that I can do this. If nothing else it is going to be a great exercise in getting thoughts out of my head and stirring up the ol' kettle that we call the creative process. Oh yeah, that reminds me, I also started the Artist's Way last week so my first week of that will be done soon. For those of you who are familiar with this and for those of you are not it is something I highly recommend you check out. (note: The link I attached is actually to an online version of it I am doing the book form presently) It's funny because it actually has, among many other exercises in writing, a daily morning pages practice in which you start each day freehand writing 3 pages of, yeah you guessed it, words. So, with that thrown in the mix, the month of November is really going to be more like me writing maybe more like 60,000 words or something like that. But who's counting? (oh wait, I am ;)

I titled this blog entry 'A Joyous Life' first because I've shared a nice portion of this day with my daughter Joy and that makes this here NOW a joyous life, and well, although as I mentioned at the beginning the many highs and lows of the ever changing tides of life for the most part I really believe this existence is meant to be a joyous life, it is a grand opportunity to play and be loving, compassionate, joy-filled beings making our way through a dance of diversity back to unity...

~Mahalo yo

And here I am NOW

So... I was just having a deep and meaningful conversation with my mom and while doing so I was laying back and running my hands through my hair. When I got up after the conversation she broke out laughing and I understood why when she said, "Go look in the mirror Joe, you gotta see yourself!" I did so and there I found myself, looking at the reflection of what appeared to be a ridiculous man. Alas, that is indeed what I saw and to a great degree agree with my assessment of my reflection... I also see more. There in the reflection was this person who is confronting his life wholly and completely presently and facing what, to his awareness is the most genuine assessment of himself ever. Sure, there gleamed ridiculousness, but deeper than that, there shined an acceptance and surrender that I saw as vulnerability and power.

As I write these words I acknowledge that I have used my sense of silliness and playfulness as a mask at times. Not always but certainly often enough, if I would have taken a picture of myself a short while earlier there would have been tears in my eyes and an entirely different expression on my face... So, I'm in a space in which I'm facing all my shadows, my demons, my fears, and any and every aspect of my past being that have not served me well and in fact have negatively affected my personal journey and the lives and journeys of many others. I embrace that I am a visionary, a powerful being, and a healer in many ways. What I am now embracing and taking personal accountability for is that my vision sees that I have a fair amount of weakness to address and healing to do as well. I feel it is in my best interest to do the necessary work inside of me right NOW in order to be wholly and completely PRESENT.

My dreams and aspirations are magnificently spectacular and I believe them all to be possible, what I have lacked up till very recently is the awareness of my capability to truly achieve these things. I see some key elements that are needed, consistency, follow through, and WAY better communication are three of the most crucial ones that I am focusing on. And I just mentioned the fourth and arguably most important of all these and that is FOCUS, if I do not really FOCUS now, consistently, following through with very simple and tangible goals to focus on and follow through with and be able to communicate my dreams, visions, and aspirations clearly then I will likely find myself in the same or similar cycles I've been spinning through this entire lifetime. I see the importance in knowing me better, in understanding the day to day, moment to moment aspects of myself that really need to be improved upon if I am to truly thrive in this lifetime. I am no longer content with just surviving.

Sure, I've succeeded in the past, I've achieved some pretty amazing things, but what I have yet to do is find a system for myself that allows me to navigate through this reality consistently in a manner that can only be described as THRIVING. I'm ready for that, I've been ready for that, what I am now, that I was lacking in the past is the willingness to face the pieces of me that have held me back from this authentic awesomeness. More importantly than embracing these things that have held me back, presently, I am facing the very real truth that because of my lack of clear communication, follow through, and being able to face my fears and express myself when confronted with them has in the past lead me to bring great pain and suffering into the lives of many people on my journey... For this I am sorry. I, like I'm pretty certain everyone else does, have ways in which I can be a better, nay, be the best human being I can be.

What I am focusing my entire reality on right now is finding out exactly what these areas are that I need to address and whence I find them all, systematically go through each one of them and put into practice a consistent routine that will, through this consistent practice, integrate these past lacking aspects into the present and future me. This is my journey, this is the path I choose to walk right now. I believe I am capable of achieving all of this because I, and humanity (and indeed all of reality) deserves it. I am humble and grateful to realize that this is an extraordinary task and opportunity to be facing and I am ready. I have no expectations, no completion date set, nor do I have even a graph or other visual aid that will really be able to chart my progress and that's okay. What I am really looking forward to doing is believing what I am saying always, and to be willing to compassionately live in a mindful and present way that shall provide me and all that is with a consistent level of authentic awesomeness so that I may see this reflection everywhere... I write this from a space of openness, of giving, and of receiving.

I forgive myself for the ways I've been that have brought pain and suffering into the hearts, minds, and lives of others. I do this and prepare myself for the journey ahead (ironically I see that I will have to go back some to move forward successfully) I am now sleepy and will now lay my head and body down for rest and slumber and check in tomorrow with myself so that I may move as consciously and lovingly forward from that particular space of the ever present moment with as much grace and joy as I possibly can. ~Mahalo yo

Openning to Grace I give thanks...

Welcome to these words. I write them to share, I also write so that I may better reflect on the thoughts and feelings flowing through me. This is all so fascinating, this life, this continual, ever present moment that we've been gifted the ability to see as an unfolding perspective. Here I sit, listening to One Day (live) by Matisyahu and doing my very best to make sense of this reality.

I am a human being, an animal cohabiting this incredibly complex largely water world as on of the small percentage of beings on this planet who lives on land. For whatever reason I have been blessed with the ability to formulate thoughts and construct those thoughts into spoken and written words, symbols, musical expression, along with artistic and destructive capabilities that I can consciously or not choose to act out in this life.

I believe I am alive and awake though I'm also willing to believe that this is just a part of the greater dream that is absolute consciousness. I realize that there are dimensions and domains available to me that I've briefly visited/embraced or tapped into. I'm doing my best to account for all the magic that occurs while sleeping, dreaming, in this context is an aspect of this existence I rarely see coming into focus or discussed as openly or as often as I look forward to it one day reaching. So there's awake and asleep as general loose perspectives but in each there is infinite possibilities and potential, only unrealized until we are willing to coax it into that special place we call manifestation.

Manifestations are awesome, we are ALL manifestations and in this, we are all reflections. We've collectively agreed on one pretty wild reality here on Earth. We'll leave out the rest of the Cosmos and what's going on in the grander Omniverse for now. On this planet, in my brief lifetime in this vessel I have born witness to many seemingly incredible leaps and bounds in the way society operates do to the ever expansive and complexly interwoven age of "modern" technology. The internet, cell phones, video phones, 3D cameras and Televisions (viewing screens?), memory storage capabilities becoming smaller in size as they grow in holding capacity, 3D printers that can literally "print 3 dimensional objects designed on a computer and built out of any number of materials, and so many other incredible gizmos and gadgets that were hardly believed possible a mere 15 to 20 years ago.

All this is wonderful on many levels and yet something has felt strange about how these things have come to be this way. I have learned through exploration that most of these technologies are based on crude systems that use unsustainable energy sources that are ultimately inefficient to a fault that will eventually be realized through through a fair deal of disaster and detriment to our blessed existence on this planet. And then, as I'm exploring this and researching many other fascinating subjects that have intrigued me for much of my life I come to find that if you go back to a certain point with virtually all of these technological advancements, we, as in humanity as a whole had to very different options and paths to choose on how we created and shared these gifts with the world.

One of those paths has been walked before, far beyond where we are now with technology and communication capabilities. It was based on principles of efficiency, harmony, and the utilization and cooperation of the awesome energies that are ever present on this planet, on this plane, and in this dimension. This is a dense reality and perspective I've grown rather certain through both observation and experience. Embracing this knowledge, harmonizing with the sacred geometric frequencies of everything, and doing all this from a space of love, gratitude, and divine intention is not only possible, it is where we genuinely thrive.

It is exciting to see individuals in the collective soup of consciousness that are sharing there passion for remembering these truths and having the courage, patience, grace, and overall ability to share what has been forgotten (and to a great extent suppressed) with everyone alive right NOW. I know many people, including myself through much of this life have accepted this current civilization as just the way things are or believing that what I was taught in school about history and what was presented to me on the Television Programs was reality. And it is, sorta. Everything we think does become a part of reality, its just that reality as it were, is infinite, infinity. There in lies the space to play and interpret it all in any way we'd like.

Alright, I have a sweet little girl named Joyously who I'm ready to start getting ready for bed, we'll do some hair brushing, read some stories and listen to some sweet melodic music in the genre of Dean Evenson and Scott Huckaby, I do cherish this space in our day. I'll have to leave this as an open essay or writing that I look forward to getting back to in a "future" moment...

(note: no editing, grammar checking or for that matter I haven't even gone through and read what I just wrote above, this is basically a free association thought release piece)

Remember to breathe

Been thinking a lot.

Been movin' and shakin' a bunch.

Been mostly in the flow yo.

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This is fun, what wonderful and magnificent happenings going on around here. Fear, as it would seem has a great and welcome place in this world, it gets you aware that something big is about to happen. Choices arise, let the fear paralyze, step cautiously towards it, or boldly move with confidence towards that unknown. There in lies the game, almost our whole reality is shaped around such moments. There is comfortable space, sure, that realm of awareness where you're safe, cozy, and fine just where you are. Then there is potential space, a place where anything is possible because you believe its so.

What we'd like to see is what we all can make happen through action.

That is the only place this is going to come from, whatever comes next we all thought up and followed through with. This is NOW and this is what we've got. Complaining can only help perpetuate that which is complained about as we hold on to it. Change can only happen if we instead focus on the beauty and harmony we know is there, this is when the love starts to shine through. There may be many things happening around the world and close to home that are easily perceived as negative or tragic and yet if we are not physically attached to it there is little we are doing to improve these situations. The solution? Come to terms with what gifts you've been given, what your "medicine" is for the world, and how you can use it, selflessly share it really, with the world around you. Maybe it only goes as far as your closest loved ones, friends, or family, that is great, give them all that love. Perhaps it goes much further and your skills, knowledge, abilities can be embraced by more or larger communities, fantastic! Give it selflessly, and let it go when it's given.

Being grateful for where you are always, regardless of the situation is so beneficial to personal well being. Our actions in this life are the reflections of everything we are. If you'd like to see kindness. appreciation, and patience in the world then by golly BE kind, appreciate, and BE patient! This is the simplest lesson I can remind myself of, expecting anything of anybody that I am not already projecting out is fleeting at best.

I make the movement move and you do to. Let's live in joy and do this together with style and grace, and with a smile on our face yo...

~Mahalo

Jean's Farm lovin'

This is what I get to see every Wednesday morning when I arrive at Jean's Farm and play with the Myriad Grower's.





This next video series was taken just ten minutes apart.







10 minutes later...






I am so grateful for this experience, what a blessing.

~Mahalo